I’ll start by saying I LOVED this film. I watched it when it first came out, but the other day I read the script and watched the film. Sidenote, I could have SWORN it was on HBO Max. I remember putting it on my list maybe a week or so ago. Went to watch it the other night, GONE. Checked all the streaming platforms and ended up paying to rent it from Amazon Prime. Another side note, I HATE renting anything. It seems like a waste of money that could just be put towards buying whatever it is (I did end up buying a blu ray, but it won’t be here for a week or so, and I wanted to watch it now.) Back to the topic at hand. Freaky reminds me of The Babysitter, and I mean that with the utmost respect to both films. They are horror but witty and campy and… whimsical, in a way. I’m a fan of more serious horror (for lack of a better term), but I also am a fan of this type of comedic horror as well. In fact, these films inspired me to get back into writing because they were so fun to watch (and the scripts were fun to read.) If you haven’t watched the film, I highly recommend you stop reading, go watch it and come back. Now, for those who have watched it, you already know that it is a horror story telling of Freaky Friday. A killer, called The Butcher kills teens in town. He stumbles upon a special knife called The Dola and stabs Amelia (aka Millie) with it. They switch bodies and she has 24 hrs. to stab him or be stuck in his body forever. While the Butcher is this big, burly man, Millie is a meek, short high school girl. She’s very much a wallflower at school and a people please at home. She opts to stay home with her mom rather than have a more active social life, as her dad passed away a year ago and the family is still coping. The film pays homage to the classics, probably in ways I didn’t even notice. The Butcher starts the film by donning a mask, which is very much a nod to Friday the 13th, not to mention the film takes place between Wednesday the 11th and Saturday the 14th. You probably guessed it (for those who didn’t watch but kept reading!) A majority of the content takes place on Friday the 13th. This may just be me, but I also felt that Millie was a nod to Alice from A Nightmare on Elm Street 4 & 5. I’ll have to do a post on the fourth film, but to briefly touch on it, Alice is one of my favorite final girls and ANOES4 is one of my favorite films. Like Millie, Alice is very much a wallflower, and she devotes her life to her alcoholic father after their mom passes away. Millie’s mom also abuses alcohol. As the film progresses and Alice’s friends die, she gets stronger and absorbs their “powers”. The same thing doesn’t happen here, but I noticed parallels. In this film, much like in Freaky Friday, Millie learns to be stronger by getting to interact with her loved ones when they don’t initially know it’s her. She can say the things Millie can’t say, because they don’t know it is Millie saying it. There are also times when she is forced to say something she wouldn’t to prove she isn’t actually the Butcher, since she’s running around in his body. A couple things I loved about this film. I’m all about using the loaded gun. It’s a writing saying. If you show us a gun, by the end of the film, that gun better get used. I liked subtle ways that this happened. The first is with Booker’s watch. We establish very early in the film, so early you don’t think it will have any weight in the end (which is the best!) that Booker sets his watch 5 mins early, so he is never late. We also establish early in the film, once Millie is in the Butcher’s body… that being kicked in the balls REALLY hurts (for those without balls, just take my word, and the film’s, for it.) In the pseudo-climax, Millie and her friends have finally found The Butcher, and she’s going to stab him… and Booker’s watch goes off, announcing its midnight, and she’s out of time. She’s devastated, because now she is going to be stuck in this grown man’s body, and the police are quickly closing in… She then remembers Booker sets his watch 5 mins early, so she is still able to stab the Butcher and return to her body. You think all is over, but the Butcher comes back for one last scare. It makes sense, because when she gets her body back, she doesn’t defeat him. The cops shoot him. He comes to her house and has a showdown with her. When he is getting the best of her (attacking her physically and emotionally), she reminds him that no matter how big and manly you are, getting kicked in the balls REALLY hurts. They were cute and charming payoffs of previous set ups. People may hate/dislike the characters/dialogue, but I loved them/it… I’m also a fan of Buffy, so that’s probably not a surprise. It felt modern. These kids felt like they were real and not just a bunch of TikTok and Twitter words and phrases thrown on a page. It all was witty and clever and felt original (which is why the film reminds me of The Babysitter.) The kills were also clever too. I’m not an expert in horror movie kills, but there were interesting ones. And from what I read, some of them were homages to other horror films. You can tell this is a film that way made by horror fans. The best part of the film, sorry to Vince Vaughn, is hands down Kathryn Newton. From what I read, she was the first choice to play Millie, and I can see why. She does a great job of playing the meek Millie and does an even better job of playing the menacing Butcher. It’s weird because the Butcher does a makeover in her body, because what body switching story is complete without a makeover… and he puts her in something that’s sexy, but not overtly sexy. Per Butcher, Millie wears very frumpy, hand me down type of clothing. Think Willow in Buffy or Alice in ANOEM4. After, she is in black books, tight blue jeans, a tight black top, a red leather jacket, her hair in a ponytail and her lips coated in red lipstick. The red leather jacket also made me think of Buffy. When you saw Buffy in black and red leather, she was about to kick some ass. And this Millie took charge. The Butcher’s Millie is more sexual than the real Millie, which was odd… Or it at least raised questions. The Butcher didn’t give sexual energy of any sort at the beginning of the film. Perhaps after quickly learning that Millie’s body lacked brute strength, he turned on her sexuality to get what he wanted. Another thing about the film, there were several kills that felt… I don’t want to say deserved… but I wasn’t upset they died. One was a misogynistic teacher (I learned while watching that the actor was the best friend in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off) and he was a little too… happy to “defend” himself against Millie’s (the Butcher’s) attack. Later in the film, Millie (the Butcher) lures this douchey jock away, and two of his friends follow. They tell her that there are three of them and she has three holes. So, I didn’t mind seeing them get killed. Though I found Kathryn Newton to be the best of the film, Vince Vaughn definitely carried his weight (and I assume having a big name like his is what helped the film get financed and made.) Sidenote, my introduction to Vince Vaughn was The Cell, so I was VERY shocked to see him in comedic roles after. I never watched Wedding Crashers but did watch Mr. & Mrs. Smith and The Break-Up. It was interesting to see parts of that scary villain I remember from The Cell mixed with the comedy he is more known for. All in all, it was great fun. I read about a possible crossover between Freaky and Happy Death Day (which I haven’t watched, but I’ve heard good things and it’s on my list.) I wonder if there will be a sequel… or the crossover, in the future. I’d love to see it.

Hard Candy isn’t for the faint of heart. It isn’t a gory or graphic film by any means, but the subject matter is pretty heavy. I’m not sure how I initially stumbled upon it. It may have been during my indie, looking-for-something-with-shock-value phase. I’ll preface by saying I’m unsure how to refer to character pronouns, as the character of Hayley, a 14-year-old girl, was played by Elliot Page, who has come out as a trans man), so I will be using the pronouns of the characters, for the sake of telling the story.

(I had an ENTIRE blog written, and I thought the draft was saved, but I guess not. I was going to hit Publish, and it erased everything beyond this first paragraph, so… fun.)

I like to have some degree of separation when I select my next script to read. In this case, I’d watched Juno, which stars Eliot Page, and Hard Candy also starts Eliot Page, so it made sense. Plus, I hadn’t watched the film in a while and I hadn’t read the script. Plus plus, both films deal with an adult man having an inappropriate relationship with a teenage girl, though Hard Candy is worse.

If you haven’t watched the film, I recommend doing so before continuing to read, as I’ll be going into spoilers…That being said, let’s begin.

Hard Candy starts with the visuals of a chatroom. Those of you from the AIM days, such as myself, know what I’m talking about. Two people are having a flirty chat and decide to meet. Fast forward to our introduction to 14-year-old Hayley. She turns to face the camera and has a bit of chocolate on her lip, exuding childhood innocence. Enter Jeff (or Geoff), the film uses one and the film uses the other, so I’ll just use Jeff. Jeff is 32 years old, so already red flags. She asks him if he wants some of whatever she ordered. He takes his finger. His ADULT finger, wipes the chocolate from her CHILD lips, and puts it in his mouth. In the script, the person behind the counter is disgusted by the interaction between the two, but in the film, you don’t see much of their reaction.

They chat and flirt and eventually make the decision to go back to his place. He makes them drinks, which may or may not have had something in them. It doesn’t matter anyway, because Hayley says she is always told never to drink something she didn’t see being made, so she goes and makes them drinks. Her drinks have alcohol. At some point, she wants Jeff to photograph her. She is dancing around, she is taking her clothes off, and music is blaring. Jeff wants her to sit down, but she won’t, and he yells at her, but then things get fuzzy for him and he collapses.

He wakes up tied to a chair. At first, he thinks it’s a sexy game, but he quickly realizes Hayley is no longer being sexy or flirty with him. Back at the coffee shop where they met, there is a flyer for a missing girl named Donna, and Hayley wants to know what happened to Donna. A lot of the film is them talking, which sounds less interesting than it is. There is a LOT of tension. There are times when Jeff breaks free of his restraints and tries to attack Hayley, only to get tied up again.

Jeff insists he doesn’t know who Donna is, but a photo in his safe proves he does. Funny enough, he meets her at the same coffee shop he meets Hayley. His story then changes to he met her, but they parted ways after the coffee shop. Hayley also finds… let’s say inappropriate photos of minors in his safe.

The film progresses, and at one point he is tied up and Hayley is going to castrate him. He escapes again, and learns she didn’t, despite saying she did. He tries to attack her again, and she tases him. He passes out and wakes up in a noose. She wants him to hang himself, and in exchange, she’ll get rid of the proof of his pedophilia. He refuses and tries to attack her again. She escapes, and he escapes the noose.

He finds her on the roof, and she has the noose again (they’d been running around the house for a bit). She gives him the offer again. He pleads with her, saying he didn’t do anything, but he watched, and he wanted to photograph it, but the other guy wouldn’t let him. He tells her he can give her the name of the guy and help her find him. Hayley tells Jeff she already knows Who the guy is, and he said Jeff was the one that assaulted and killed Donna before he killed HIMSELF. Sidenote, there is this woman from his past, Janelle. They haven’t been in touch since they were teens, and Hayley has called her and she’s on her way. They can both see and hear Janelle knocking at the door, asking where Jeff is. Jeff doesn’t want Janelle to know about his… actions, so he hangs himself, thinking Hayley will get rid of the evidence. Well… she lied. And the film ends with her escaping.

As I said, it’s a heavy film, and it leaves you with some questions. The first one being, is Jeff guilty? I say he is, and I’d wager to say he is Donna’s killer. There are at least three times that he escapes Hayley, and rather than escape or call for help, he attempts to hurt Hayley. When he gets on the roof, he has a knife, and he asks Hayley, “which do you want to fuck first, me or the knife?” I find him saying he wasn’t involved as means of manipulation.

Another question is, did Hayley even know Donna? It’s left a little ambiguous, at least more so than the script. Based on the script, I would say she didn’t know Donna, as the end of the script has her in another chatroom luring another older man in. I suppose it doesn’t matter to the story whether she actually knew Donna or not. Though if she didn’t, I’m curious how she was able to find enough information to determine Jeff and the other guy, I think his name was Aaron, were involved. My guess is she was assaulted when she was younger and this is her way of seeking vengeance.

It’s a great film. Even though I already knew how it would end from watching it years ago, the tension still got to me. I also thought Elliot Page and Patrick Wilson did an INCREDIBLE job. It’ll sound terrible to say, but I thought Jeff was so cute… at first, even despite meeting with a 14-year-old. And I think that was intentional. There are times when Patrick is meant to lure you in with his charms, much like he lures in underage girls.

After all that, I could really only go to another Elliot Page film, or a Patrick Wilson film. Sandra Oh is in the film for a moment, but I went with a Patrick Wilson film… Watchmen.

One last thing, I really loved that the script I found online had edits and revisions. A lot of the time, the scripts I find are the final draft. There is something refreshing and comforting seeing the edits someone made to their work. It lets me know that my first draft will never be perfect.