Feb 12th 2016 I made the move from Phoenix, Arizona to Los Angeles, California. It is still a little surreal to think about. For years, I’d been saying I would move to California, at first I thought it would be San Diego, and I finally did it.
When I was just 17, I made the decision to move from Waynesboro, Georgia to Phoenix, Arizona. I had no friends or family there, I just saw there was a school where I could learn video game design (and I’d always wanted to go to Phoenix after learning as a child a place existed with the same name as The Phoenix from X-Men.) A lot of people tried to talk me out of it, but I had no fears and had no doubts about it. One, I knew I HAD to get out of Waynesboro, and I hadn’t gotten into a school I wanted to attend in Georgia. My other thought was to go back to the northeast, I was thinking Boston, and got accepted to a school in Boston, but opted to Phoenix. I think, even back then, I knew eventually I’d end up in California.
After almost 10 years in Arizona, I made the move to California. It wasn’t as fearless and doubtless a move, though I wish it had been. Even to this day, I have my fears and doubts about whether I made a mistake or not, but I have a tendency to focus on the negative, and I’m working on trying to focus on the positive.
There have definitely been highs and lows here. Times when I felt there couldn’t possibly be a way to make things work, and then I’d find a way. Times when I cried of loneliness (being new to a big city can be overwhelming and lonely) and times when I wanted to just give up and runaway, maybe back to Phoenix, maybe to somewhere new, but I’ve stayed. I’ve been told if you can make it in Los Angeles a year, (it’s a city that can and will chew you up and spit you out) you have the determination to make it long term.
On the other side of that, I’ve met wonderful people, I’ve had wonderful experiences, and have a current job that is teaching me a lot about the industry. I’m one of those people who feels the Universe puts you where you need to be when you need to be there, and now it is up to me to soak up all the knowledge and experiences and make something of them.
I have big dreams and big ideas, but my fears and doubts get in the way. This year of living in Los Angeles, I’m working on letting those go, as the only sure fire way to fail is to never try. I moved out here for a reason and despite my fears, I wouldn’t have made the move if I didn’t have some faith in myself that I could do it.
I’m also learning to not be so specific in what I want. For instance, the summer after my 8th grade year, I watched Coyote Ugly pretty much every day. I LOVED it, and I knew some day I would move to a big city and make my dreams come true. At the time, I was still in my hometown in Connecticut, so I naturally assumed the big city would be New York City, just like Violet, but when life pointed me in the direction of Los Angeles, I accepted that.
Sometimes, I have to remind myself of the things I’ve accomplished in life. Often, I compare my accomplishments to those who have done more and envy that or feel I’ll never achieve that much, again, letting the negative win. I’ve done a lot in my life, and I’ve been on my own since the age of 18. I’m going to be less critical of myself (and those around me.)
So, expect a post from me on or around Feb 12th 2019 giving an update on how I’ve progressed.
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