Feeling Good

This is going to be short and sweet, as I have shit to do today.

I’m typically not the type to make New Year’s resolutions. I don’t have anything against them, per se, just not my thing. One doesn’t need a new year to become a new person. That being said, the new me transformation seems to be happening around the new year.

I can’t explain how or why I feel differently now than I did before, but I do. I feel inspiration and I feel like I’m tired of letting fear control my life. February 12th marks my two year anniversary living in Los Angeles, and I’ve done very little writing. Writing is the whole reason I moved here. My fear of not being good enough has kept me from putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard… at least to write a script). Plenty of ideas have been in my head and I’ve jotted them down and started to flesh them out.

Though I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions, my mom always used to say whatever you are doing at midnight on New Year’s is how you’ll spend a majority of your year. I’ve always believed that, for some reason. As a teen, I’d get out my pen and paper, turn on Buffy’s “This Year’s Girl,” and go into the new year writing.

Last year, I wanted to be have more of a social life here in West Hollywood, so I opted to go to a New Year’s party, despite only knowing one person there, and it’s safe to say I spent a lot more time going out and being social this year than I did last year.

I’ve decided to make a commitment to myself this year. Writing is going to be my focus this year, as if I don’t write, I’ll never be good enough, because I’ll never have the practice. Going out is fun and all, but I need to do it in moderation, as it never truly makes me happy, it feels empty and hollow. I desire friendships that consist of more than just going out and drinking. I’d love to find some fellow creatives.

So, this is already longer than I intended, last night I bought myself a planner so I can organize my time. It is very important to do that now that I have two jobs. I need to schedule time to write, and I will. This year is going to be about getting shit done and no longer procrastinating.

The first time, today is laundry. I woke up at 8am, despite not having to work, and put my comforter in the washer, so I can’t just lay back in bed and go back to sleep. I have some cleaning and re-organizing to do today and then a bit of grocery shopping.

It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life, for me…

And I’m feeling good.